Rappler’s People section features insightful responses from Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr. Margarita Holmes.
Jeremy holds a master’s degree in law from Oxford and has spent 37 years in banking across three continents. Alongside Dr. Holmes, he has taught and occasionally co-therapized clients facing the intersection of mental health and financial stress for the past decade.
The duo has authored two notable books: Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality and Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.
Dear Dr. Holmes and Mr. Baer,
At 12 years old, I began my first antidepressant treatment under a psychiatrist’s supervision. Before that, I had just been taking my mother’s prescriptions.
Even at a young age, it was apparent to my father that I was enveloped in sadness that felt unshakable. This was especially pronounced during pivotal moments, such as when household help departed without explanation or when relentless rain fell for days.
Seeing how my mother had experienced similar feelings growing up, my father eventually agreed to my consultation with a psychiatrist.
My psychiatrist, Rebo, was already treating my mother and later my younger brother. He provided me with support during some of my darkest days.
It took years to recognize that I was also bipolar, but once a mood stabilizer was introduced, everything started to fall into place. We experimented with various medications until we discovered a combination that brought me a sense of normalcy. I often referred to this blend as my “elixir” because it transformed my everyday existence from unbearable to manageable.
A significant milestone was maintaining my medication regimen during the pandemic’s isolation and uncertainty. Rebo had assured me I could adjust my dosage if necessary, but I managed to stay on the same previous levels, which I’ve sustained for over 16 years. Now, however, I face a new challenge as the current weather feels more relentless than the isolation of the pandemic.
The persistent rain has left me waking in a cold sweat daily. While I know sunny days exist, they seem fleeting and inadequate to lift my spirits.
I feel trapped with no foreseeable resolution. My greatest fear is my brain settling into a continual state of sadness, marking it as my “new normal,” thus necessitating a higher medication regime for the foreseeable future.
What could be wrong with me? Should I seek a new psychiatrist, someone who could fill Rebo's shoes? He passed away two years ago, leaving me without my trusted ally in this battle.
– Ana
Dear Ana,
Dr. Holmes has dedicated extensive work to the subject of clinical depression, so I’ll defer to her insight here.
Best wishes,
– JAF Baer
Dear Ana,
I appreciate your candid letter. Let's address your primary question: “Should I look for another psychiatrist?”
Yes, you should.
Your second question, about finding someone akin to your “Rebo,” warrants a different approach.
While Rebo provided invaluable support, searching for a direct replacement isn’t advisable. Instead, pursue someone who possesses the qualities you found most beneficial.
It seems Rebo had an exceptional ability to engage in your therapeutic journey together. He wasn’t just a provider of directives; he genuinely listened, acknowledging your feelings and insights while encouraging your autonomy.
He recognized that your choices, particularly regarding medication, had long-term implications for your life, treating you as an informed participant in the process.
As challenging as it is to lose someone like Rebo, your task now is to find a psychiatrist you can collaborate with effectively, aligning in values around truth, diligence, and your path to healing.
Regarding your concern about feeling “wrong,” rest assured that you’re not broken beyond repair. Your situation calls for a shift in perspective rather than external modifications.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) comprises a type of depression triggered by seasonal shifts, typically manifesting during late fall or winter. During these months, some individuals experience profound depression associated with SAD.
This condition can stem from various factors:
- A disruption of your circadian rhythm, which can exacerbate feelings of discontent.
- Decreased serotonin levels, often observed when sunlight wanes in the colder months, impacting mood positively.
- A shortage of Vitamin D related to diminished sunlight exposure, which can lead to lowered serotonin and additional mood challenges.
Interestingly, I view SAD as the Western counterpart to what we might label as Habagat Affective Disorder (HAD) or Monsoon Affective Disorder (MAD) in Eastern contexts.
Research indicates that SAD is particularly prevalent among women, younger adults, and individuals with familial histories of depression, especially those living in regions further from the equator where winter days are significantly shorter. Thus, you’re experiencing a double whammy, Ana, as you belong to two high-risk demographics!
While this situation isn't optimal, it’s also not insurmountable. Understanding your diagnosis is empowering. Feeling depressed during prolonged dark periods doesn’t imply something fundamentally flawed within you; instead, it highlights your experience with SAD.
And remember, being double-whammied places you in the company of many others who share this struggle. We’re part of the same club, Ana! Keep pushing forward.
All the best,
– MG Holmes
– Rappler.com
Life getting complicated? Reach out to our Two Pronged duo at [email protected].
